I have officially started the IVF process.
I finally got the ball rolling with blood work at the beginning of my cycle, which should have been a lot sooner, but my period was eight fucking days late. Casey and I went in together on CD3 (CD stands for cycle day, because apparently I’m motivated enough to write and entire post, but too lazy to spell out all of my words. Also, for anyone who doesn’t know cycle day 1 is the first day of my period). Infertility has created some interesting situations for us as a couple, but this was the first time getting our blood drawn together. I think I need to come up with some clever term related to these “dates” related to infertility. Suggestions are welcome. Back to the blood work – I handled it better than expected with no dizziness or fainting, which was quite surprising to me because I’m fairly certain that they took about half of my blood. I may be exaggerating slightly, it was really only four of the big vials – which would have been about 13 of the regular size vials. THIRTEEN vials of blood. Some of which I had to ship, overnight, to the clinic in Spokane for them to process at their lab. I still find it hilarious that I had to ask for my blood back after they did the draw and let it clot/centrifuged that shit.
After the blood work I officially got to start the first step for IVF: suppression. Just in case you need a refresher on this step: I’m taking birth control to quiet my ovaries and get in sync with the schedule at the clinic. I assumed that this step would be a simple one, because there are a ton of women that take birth control on a regular basis, so it can’t be that bad, right? Wrong. I now remember why I was never able to stay on the pill. I’m a little over a week in and side effects include: headaches, heartburn, fatigue, fucked up appetite, and crying. Moodiness may have been a better word, but I’m not cranky, just crying about everything. Happy things, sad things, frustrating things, things that should hold no emotional merit whatsoever, everything.
Starting this process also included some other big steps: making payment and setting up my appointment calendar. I’m not sure that I’m ready to advertise exactly how much we’re paying here, but I’m not shy about it either – if you’re truly curious feel free to ask. The money is far less exciting than the calendar any way. My first IVF monitoring appointment is June 9, and I’m scheduled to start my stimulation (step 2) medication on June 14. My late period made me miss the May round at the clinic, so I was pushed to June. Most days (so far) I’m doing alright with the waiting. In the coming weeks I will be scheduling my medication education class, receiving my medication orders and lab orders, signing what I’m assuming will be a thousand consent forms, and trying not to drive myself crazy (which may be easier said than done on this birth control).
My feelings are slowly morphing during this process. I started out with fear and disappointment. Our consult appointment mixed in a little bit of hope, and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. As I continue this process I’m still scared (and honestly, still disappointed that I have to go through all of this), but fear is no longer predominant. More than anything else I am excited.